Paddleboard FAQs: What IS That Thang?

My paddleboard is a curiosity piece. It’s a good board, mind you, a sleek Eaton fourteen. But the appearance at the beach of my paddleboard invariably draws questions, and the conversation goes something like this (usually maxing at four questions from the following list):

Questioner: “Is that a kayak?”

Me: “No. It’s a paddleboard, and I paddle with my arms.”

Questioner: “Is there a hidden compartment somewhere for the paddle?”

Me: “No. The paddles are hanging from my shoulders.”

Questioner: “Do you lie down on it?”

Me: “Yes, and I can also paddle from my knees. My knees fit nicely in those two knee wells.”

Questioner: “What’s that thing on the front?”

Me: “It’s a cage for my water bottle, the same kind that goes on a bicycle. And my GPS goes just to the right of that, in the black mount.”

Questioner: “AREN’T YOU AFRAID OF SHARKS?”

Me: “I’m way more concerned about the guy texting in the next car. Sharks are realty smart – they know they don’t want anything to do with us and manage to avoid us 99.9999 percent of the time. The odds with the texter are so much worse. Uniformly, texters are dangerously and verifiably not smart.”

Questioner: “Can you stand up on that and use a paddle?”

Me: “No. I can lie on it or get to my knees. I’ll tip over if I get any more vertical. Stand-up paddling requires different, more stable equipment.”

Questioner (there’s not a wave in sight): “How was the surf?”

Me: “Whaaaaaaat?”

Questioner (there’s four-foot shore pound): “How was the surf?”

Me: “You really can’t surf a paddleboard. Unless you’re name is Mike Cote, but let’s not go into that.”

Questioner (it’s grey, foggy, and breezy, as it often is here in June and July, and he/she is visibly shivering in shorts and a sweatshirt obviously purchased in Carmel, after they have figured out this ain’t San Diego): “Aren’t you cold?”

Me (highly amused): “No. I have a really good wetsuit. I’ll bet you’re colder than I am.”

Questioner (not amused): “That wasn’t funny.”

I never get tired of this conversation. I love that people are curious, and it lights me up to introduce them to my watercraft. But next I wonder how much this person wants to know. Like, whether this is any fun, what’s to love about it, how the board is built for speed, what a rush it is to ride open-ocean bumps, that there are stand-up paddlers who do use paddles (versus we prone paddlers who don’t), or how much fun it is to do with friends, and what a thrill it is to race. I could go on. I usually don’t volunteer any of that because it’s generally best to be brief.

But here I will go on because, dear reader, brevity is yours for the taking (or more precisely, for the leaving, as in leaving this blogsite).

I paddle for lots of reasons. The first is that, like surfing, I like the ride. On glassy waters, it’s all about the glide and that’s what makes it fast. On windy days, you can catch open ocean swell, called ‘bumps’ for short, and that’s even faster.

But it’s not all about the speed. It’s a chance to be on the ocean while not scratching for waves or stressing over hoards of ornery surf hogs all trying to catch the same waves. The sea life is great: seals, sea otters, dolphins, various birds, kelp beds, the sight of reefs, the view through the water when it’s sunny and the water is “as clear as gin,” as a friend of mine described it. The sea life can also keep you highly alert (jellies, whales, orcas, and the odd shark – the last of these I’ve thankfully never seen).

I plan to paddle a long way over a lot of years—as many miles and years as I can. I hope to learn more about the ocean. And it’s always great to go with, or even just come across, another paddler.



The photo was taken by Mike McDaniel through his binocs.


© 2009 Michael J. Jones. All rights reserved in all media.